Foot Launcher: Alphamale picked up some random stray cat and in just a few months the cat became one of the most valued assets in the millitary world. It is still not known where Alphamale gets his cat feet. He does 1 damage per attack cycle, which we will call DPC (damamge per cycle). He is available at the start of a level.
Bomb: Alphamale bought a bunch of these on Ebay for a couple dollars. Most of them were defective (on the back it says, "Made in China"). Does 35 feet of damage, which is how much health Blanket Zombie has, minus 1. It takes 10 seconds to arm and has 2 times Foot Launcher's recharge time. After the level begins, you must wait half of Foot Launcher's recharge time before using it.
Double Foot Launcher: Alphamale drafted his old pet cat to war. Double Foot Launcher loves the thrill of violence. He shoots 2 feet each attack cycle. He has twice Foot Launcher's recharge time.
Returning Foot Launcher: This is getting more and more ridiculous each new unit! He somehow has access to supposedly existing cat feet that return after hitting zombies! But seriously, I'm worried about where they get these cat feet.. He does 1.5 DPC and his projectile also hits the first five zombies. He has the same recharge time as Double Foot Launcher.
Mega Foot Launcher: Alphamale got a "very frisky" cat from the shelter that always wants to fight.. with projectiles of course! He does 5 DPC and can only be used at the final wave. It can only be placed in the farthest third of the field.
Squid: Sure, there really is a squid who can survive on land that fights for some random dude against ZOMBIES! Sure... He does approximately 5 DPC but only has 1 unit [the space that one unit occupies on the field] of range. He has 2 times Foot Launcher's recharge time. He does 13 damage to an unslowed enemy moving at average speed [before it is first attacked by the zombie].
Freezer: Alphamale bought a device that slows all zombies down in a small area... off of Ebay.. With a range of 2 units, this slows all zombies down by 70% for 15 seconds. It detonates on contact and has 1.2 times Foot Launcher's recharge time. It is available at the start of a level.
Blanket: Alphamale found a blanket he slept in as a baby and uses it to protect his cats from vengeance, coldness, and other world-specific calamities. It cannot be moved until it is destroyed. It has no recharge time, but only one may be used at any given time. It may not be used on the same unit in a row after it has been destroyed.
Bowl of Cereal: Alphamale is pulling a truly "chad" (this is how he describes it) move by using CEREAL to protect from zombies. It can take 8 bites from zombies. It has 2 times Foot Launcher's recharge time.
Insta-Bomb: Guess where Alphamale got this... Eba-- Walmart. They sell bombs at his local Walmart. It does 12 feet of damage and detonates instantly. It has the regukar Bomb's recharge time.
Slowing Foot Launcher: Alphamale, we are dying to know where you got all this stuff! Please tell us (he won't)! This is the same as the regular Foot Launcher, but slows zombies by 70%. It also has 2.5 times the regular Foot Launcher's recharge time.
Scratching Cat: Alphamale bought a bunch of cats off of Ebay (really?!). One of 'em just loves to scratch people..Or zombies. It scratches all zombies that walk on it. It has 2.5 times Foot Launcher's recharge time. It does about 2 feet of damage each second to a zombie that is on it. Its damamge is greatly increased (not by DPC) if the zombie is slowed. If it has recharged while one still survives, you can optionally place the new one on the old one to double its damage, but take up only one space.
Peeing Cat: Alphamale's personal favorite is this one, who urinates too often, since he has a drinking problem. It is an instant-use cat that can either be used in a "laser" or spray mode. The laser mode stuns a zombie and it will also move 2 small steps back. This deals 3 feet of damage. The spray setting will do 6 feet of damage, stun for 1 second, and make zombies move 1 small step backwards. THe spray setting effects all zombies within 1 unit of range. Its recharge is 1.5 times a Foot Launcher's recharge time.
Catnip: Alphamale pulls another "chad" move by using catnip to make his cats work more efficiently! This is an instant-use item that affects only alive [e.g. not bombs or other objects] cat units and makes 1 cat of your choice work 3 times more efficiently for 6 seconds. Its effect is limited for Mega Foot Launchers and Double Foot Launchers (otherwise it would be far too great).
Poop Scoop Cat: One of Alphamale's cats learned how to pick things up and decided to use this ability for yielding the mighty poop scoop! Every 18 seconds this cat will throw a large poop at a zombie that deals 22 feet of damage. It has 1.75 times the recharge time of Foot Launcher.
Cat Tree: Cats are frisky around cat trees, so why not use them to invigorate wartime cat soldiers (again, Alphamale described such an idea as "chad-like")! This item can be placed on any single cat, and (besides the Double Foot Launcher and Mega Foot Launcher, whose effects are less enhanced) will make them work 2 times as efficiently. It can only be placed in the closest two thirds of the field to the zombies. Its recharge time is 2.5 times a Foot Launcher's recharge time.
Hissing Cat: He's normally super nice, but to defend his master, he must resort to meanness. It has 2.5 times Foot Launcher's recharge time and will hiss whenever a zombie is almost touching it, causing the zombie to take 2 somewhat small steps back. This ability activates twice, and then it disapprears.
Multi-Target Bomb: You can probably guess where Alphamale got this one... Costco. This is a bomb that takes 8 seconds to activate, and will deal 15 feet of damage to two each of two zombies who activate it. It has 2 times Foot Launcher's recharge time.
Cat Poop: It's just as the name describes... It is obtained by completing the "Cat Poop Quest," and when it is placed, a zombie who walks on it will trip and fall to the ground for 7 seconds, during which time it cannot be interacted with by projectile units. It has two times Foot Launcher's recharge time.
Grenade: Alphamale got these from Best Buy. It is obtained by completing the "Grenade Quest," and when it's placed, after 4 seconds, all zombies on the field are damaged by 7 feet of health. Same recharge time as a regular bomb.
Copycat: It allows the player to have a copy of another unit already taking up its own slot. It has the same recharge time as the unit it's copying.
Recharger: It can only be used twice in a level and has 1.75 times Foot Launcher's recharge time, but it allows any unit to instantly recharge.
Paw Launcher: It cannot be used together with Foot Launcher and cannot be placed at the start of a level, but it shoots cat front paws (don't ask where they come from), which do half the damage of feet. But its recharge time is half of Foot Launcher's. It is obtained by completing the "Cat Paw Quest," and it's up to you to figure out if it's useful or not. Don't worry, since Paw Launcher is open to criticism.
Basic Zombie: He came to the scene straight from Plants Vs. Zombies... Not really... He has 12 feet of health.
Jacket Zombie: He bought some 'drip', as he calls it. He has 24 feet of health.
Blanket Zombie: He got a blanket from Walmart... The very same Walmart that sells bombs! He has 36 feet of health.
Bomb Zombie: He went with his friend Blanket Zombie to Walmart to get a bomb. He has 12 feet of health, and throws a bomb at the nearest good unit, killing it. This also removes half the health of an adjacent good unit.
Basic Inuit: Not much to say... He's just a pretty shy and boring person... He is the same as Basic Zombie.
Fur Coat Zombie: He bought some eskimo 'drip' (as he learned the current generation refers to it). He is the same as Jacket Zombie.
Cozy Zombie: He is a hedonist who loves to persue coziness. He has succeeded in obtaining coziness. He is the same as Blanket Zombie.
Earmuff Zombie: He has cold intolerance but is so poor he can only afford earmuffs. He has 36 feet of health, but will instantly die if a Freezer is used on him.
Ice Eater Zombie: He has horrible dental health so when he eats an ice cube (I don't know why he does) he runs due to pain. After a short while of being on the field, he will eat his ice-cube. He will then move very fast and eat things very quickly (the colder the temperature, the faster he moves). He has 12 feet of health.
Shaman Zombie: He is a master in healing, but yet cannot heal himself. He has 15 feet of health and moves exremely slowly, often healing zombies close to him by 32 feet of health. He does not raise a zombie's health past their default health.
Igaluk: He is literally THE UNDEAD MOON descended on the earth to try to destroy a random dude who wants La Croix. So is it said by the mythology. He is pretty slow and will instantly destroy a good unit by hitting it. He has 84 feet of health.
Mr. Dungbard Angakkuq: Mr. Dungbard became a Canadian Inuit leader for a bit, just to stop Alphamale from getting his La Croix! I don't know why he cares. He has 120 feet of health AND IS A VERY BIG MEANIE!
Beach Dude: He actually LIVES on the beach! He lives a miserable life. He is the same as Basic Zombie.
Beach Towel Dude: He comes to the beach pretty often. That's the only interesting thing about him. He's also stupid. He is the same as Jacket Zombie.
Swimmer Dude: He learned to swim by trial and error, and many deaths and reincarnations later, he has finally "mastered" it. He is the same as Blanket Zombie.
Sexy Beach Dude: He's pretty 'dope', I guess. He has 5 times the health of a Basic Zombie, totaling in 60 feet of health.
Lifegaurd Zombie: He used to be a professional gambler, and sometimes brings his gambling-themed lifesaver to work. The dice and cards on it are fading so he uses it more rarely now. He has 30 feet of health and will revive up to 3 zombies that die in front of him, bringing them back to full health.
Sand Digger Zombie: He's had cooties in school since kindergarten [he never got Pfizer's vaccine for it]! It's been 2 years since and people are still afraid of him! He is 2 times faster than Basic Zombie, and will run toward the nearest 2 good units and dig a hole where they are, making that area uninhabitable for good units for the rest of the level. He has 25 feet of health.
Sea Monster Zombie: He never grew out of hide-and-seek, but people never find him, so he gets mad, jumps out, and attacks people violently. He has 42 feet of health, and jumps out and crawls (such that he cannot be attacked by the cats) toward the nearest good unit, and stands up, finally being vulnerable. He then goes forward, usually eating several cats.
Sun Tanner Zombie: He bought some lotion off of Z-Bay (not, in fact, a 'Zombie Ebay', but it is the Zimbabwean Ebay) that allows him to build very thick skin from sunbathing. No women find this attractive. He drops a towel down eventually, and will gain a lot of health when sunbathing (56 feet), so should be much preferably killed before he lies down. He starts with only 25 feet of health.
Hippie Zombie: He is a stupid 'libtard' as some may say; he has 28 feet of health and makes all good units 3 times less effective when alive, with his strong sentiment of peace. He is also extremely slow.
Waterbender Zombie: He learned how to make water obey his will, but water still won't be his friend. He has the health of Blanket Zombie, and will eventually throw water on the latter half of the field, killing most good units usually. Later, he will pick his water up, allowing good units to be placed there again. If he dies before he does this, the water will forever stay during the level, and you will most likely lose.
Mr. Dungbard In the Form of Poseidon: Mr. Dungbard is back, and revealed himself to be Poseidon (so he says anyway)! That's kinda cool, if not for it being a fictional idol. He is mostly the same as the previous Mr. Dungbard encounter, but he changes the gimmics of this world, and spawns this world's zombies.
Headphone Zombie: He loves to listen to the Knights In the Service of Satan (KISS), so he plays it on headphones. He loves satanic sacrifices, and that is what he desires to use you for. He has 42 health, but the Peeing Cat will instantly kill him.
Pepper Zombie: He has quite a taste for spiciness, so his favored snack is red pepper flakes. He's like Ice Eater, but he runs faster and has 15 feet of health.
Doctor Zombie: He works directly for Pfizer, and so he just deals pills out to folks, for free (maybe because they really want you to get drugged?). He's the same as the Shaman, but he regenerates zombies back to 15 feet more than their maximum health.
Homeless Zombie: He comes from Los Angeles, and wears his shirt around his neck so he can hit good units. Same as Igaluk, but with 108 health.
Photosynthesis Zombie: He's just like the Sun Tanner... But he gains 200 health! He's also faster and starts with 42 feet of health. He uses photosynthesis to generate great strength. Kill him before he "photosynthesizes," or you essentially lose.
Alien Zombie Aleph: Out from the 10-17 space vaccuum he came! He's definitely not part of any psyop... Green men living on lights in the sky in a space vaccuum exist, right? He is only slowed 50% by slowing units; the same applies to all alien zombies. Same as a Basic Zombie. Wait... Maybe he also "evolved" in a Darwinian way from mud and clay for no reason...
Alien Zombie Beit: Just like Jacket Zombie, but the Area 51 version. He's the head commander of Project Blue Beam, God save us already!
Alien Zombie Gimmel: Just like Blanket Zombie, but the Area 51 version. In the heavenly realms, he's the Olympic swimming champion, having swam the entire length of "Hamayim asher mei'al ha'raqia" [Genesis 1:7], the waters which are above the firmament.
Crawler Alien Zombie: He has a bad knee, so he just crawls everywhere -- as fast as a Basic Zombie. He has 12 health and can only be damaged by instant-use items (also including the Freezer), and the Scratching Cat, which does twice damage to him. Another interpretation of why he crawls everywhere is because he's just a lowlife.
Alien Zombia Daled: He's a professional actor at NASA, doing the whole alien bit for 'em. Of course, he certainly is one, right?... He has 50 health and when a "slowing" unit is used against him, he moves at 4 times normal speed and eats twice as fast.
Shapeshifter Alien Zombie: Once his friend, Alien Zombie Aleph, gave him some sandwhich which happened to have peanut butter in it, but here's the thing: he's allergic to peanut butter. So he forever has this chronic illness where he shape-shifts to look like a Foot Launcher. He throws cat feet at good units at the same rate as a normal Foot Launcher, and has 42 health. Unless no good units are present, he stays in the back of the field. He cannot damage good units except by throwing feet at them, and he throws them half as fast when slowed. It takes 12 feet to kill an average health unit like a Foot Launcher. Go figure the rest.
Area 51 Raider: He's a human [zombie] who broke into Area 51 so he could make Tik Tok dances in front of it. He eats at the same speed as a normal zombie and can be slowed, but his speed is 6 times the normal zombies' speed! He has 60 feet of health.
Mr. Dungbard Alien Overlord: He's not actually an alien; he's an overlord OF aliens. He has 180 health and spawns Area 51 enemies, controls the world gimmics, and has otherwise the same abilities as previous Mr. Dungbard encounters. For the time being, he works for th United Nations (if ya know ya know).