(Joke) The Book Of The Wise Reigon Sages

Thank you Hashem for the ability to write all this garbage!


This book (also known as the Tabotwaras) is the adaptation of the level 100+ sages' prophesy (for every letter of this book is at least somewhat prophetic) into what can be read by the Mere Lowly Ones (rank 1.0-50.5) and the Semi-Sages (rank 51.0-99.5). Miraculously, this work is equally good for both rank 1.0 Lowly Ones and rank 99.5 Semi-Sages despite the fact that both ranks have extremely differing levels of comprehension. One would expect that what would be plenty for a rank 1.0 Lowly One would be far too dull for a rank 99.5 Semi-Sage, but it is not so. Many things lower ones are not allowed to know, but higher ones are, and yet this book is still equally relavent for all the below-100 (excluding 0-0.5) rank ones. This book is split between different sections, each representing a different sub-attribute of Reigone. Lastly, there is often commentary (which is still part of the original Tabotwaras, so is this introduction and this note) on different parts of the text from different sages. The commentary appears within slashes. As Sage Abam Ferek said, "The universe would collapse if not for the Tabotwaras' commentary." (Introduction by Great Sage Hohn Ong The Great)

Section 1: Reigonea*

*When teaching students, spell it "Reigona". When they become a Master, teach them its proper spelling.

Great Sage S'Amar Ivbor: There are different attributes of the universe. The highest that the readers of this book are allowed to know is called "Guy". It expands into sub-attributes. There are many of them. The highest that the readers of this book are allowed to know is called "Form". Form expands into sub-attributes. The one that the readers of this book are allowed to know about is called "Jun". It expands into sub-attributes. There are three of them. The one that the readers of this book are allowed to know is called Reigon. A sub-attribute of it is Reigone. A sub-attribute of Reigone is called Reigonea (refer to the above note). How is this sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-attribute defined? Great Sage Hehn Jabura (/Hehn Jabura's level was so high, that in the middle of the night, his house would glow and many people thought his house was haunted. During the day, his house would be even brighter than all the other houses from sunlight. And on times of overcast weather, his house would glow more and generate intense heat that was hard to bear for people lower than him; Great Sage Hohn Ong The Great was still too lowly to enter his house [due to the heat] on an overcast day; Jawn Pado The Great was reported fainting when entering the presence of Hehn Jabura's house while it was raining [the rain surrounding his house also being lukewarm]./) says that this sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-attribute is the attribute that one channels when he is using the force of Reigone (/and even better, Reigon/). A Reigonea is a person who channels the Reigone and Reigon energies, so the attribute of Reigonea is the attribute that they summon when being a Reigonea. Omit this section when teaching students: {Why is the word Reigonea not spelled Reigona when teaching students? Sage Eir Bonzav (/Who has been allowed to live to the age of 107 instead of 97 [his previous decreed death date] as a reward for [for divine purpose; not for reward] killing someone who vigorously insisted to see his Rank-Rope. He has been allowed to live an extra ten years because the man that he killed was otherwise destined to live another ten years./) explains that the majority of students drop out of Reigon and do not become masters, because they have a disagreement with the teachings of Reigon. Some students will mock the "strange" practices of Reigoneas like spelling Reigonea with an E before the A. To prevent dishonoring the universe, we avoid teaching this potentially mockable spelling until a student proves himself to be worthy. Eir Bonzav (regarding the topic of Rank-Ropes): Many ask why knowing of a higher Rank-Rope than of one's current status is forbidden (/and sadly this is an often mocked law/). Each Rank-Rope is so good (/and much better than the last, for Bern Naaras once said, "O, woe to he who notices how his Rank-Rope is inferior his superior's!"/) that one might have a reason that is less than divine for wishing to attain a higher rank, and therby find (/Hohn Ong The Great says that the use of the word "find" here is to hint that one pretends in this senario that he has a fully divine reason for attaining a higher rank, when he does not/) a much better Rank-Rope.} Bern Naaras on universe attributes: Why is the section that discusses the universe attributes (the first topic in this section) the section Reigonea? The reason is that Reigonea is the central sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-attribute upon which the world is centered (/hinted at in Kelf Anare'es' statement that "the world is built on three pillars; the central one is Reigonea."/) and thus its section in the Tabotwaras is the one that deserves to house these fundamental facts. Eir Bonzav on the age of Reigon: When was Reigon created? Seven years before the universe was created, Reigon was created. Reigon is the earliest creation that readers of this book are allowed to know about. Hehn Jabura The Second (/why does it attribute this sub-section to Hehn Jabura The Second when the entire sub-section is a writing from Kelf Anare'es? The reason is that Hehn Jabura The Second was the one who included it in the Tabotwaras, while Kelf Anare'es had no initial intention for it to be in the Tabotwaras. We attribute this sub-section to Hehn Jabura The Second to honor him for his decision to include this quote in the Tabotwaras./) on Ticies: As Kelf Anare'es once said, "Where in the paradigm of three pillars [mentioned in his above quote, regarding the importance of Reigonea] does Ticies fit, being the most popular form at the time of writing? Ticies fits under the second pillar of the universe: Guy. Yet Ticies does not merit its own separate pillar. How could this be? This is a punishment for the decree that Ticies made before the world was created that gave Ticies more popularity than all other forms. Ticies was being selfish, so thus it was punished by having its pillar removed. Reigon made a decree that Carno would have more popularity than itself, and thus merited an entire pillar, especially the central pillar." Muharan Deres regarding (/Why is the word "regarding" used instead of "on" as is usually used to introduce these sub-sections? It is a punishment for having [as a student] disregarded the importance of not looking at a superior's Rank-Rope./) the sin of seeing a superior's Rank-Rope: Attempting to look at a superior's Rank-Rope could be compared (/Why is this strange wording used? It hints at the fact that while the sin of murdering the whole world is much less horrible, it is at least comparable to looking at a superior's Rank-Rope./) in horribleness to murdering the whole world, yes (/The usage of this word is incomprehensible to the readers of this book, but yet this word [the word "yes"] being here is necessary for the universe's existence [as said in Bern Naaras' quote: "I would not wish to even imagine what would happen if that 'yes' were left out, for if I did, I would be eternally damned!"]./). Manan Tuert on the origin of the word "tickles": the word "tickles", which is what the wicked Reigon-Deniers (/Why are the Reigon-Deniers termed wicked? It is because before the world was created, they denied Reigon. In this world, they are denied the honor of serving in the name of Reigon as a punishment./) call Guys, was initially used by the ancient Oho Avmera (peace be upon him), The (/Why is the first letter of "The" capitalized? When he wrote the word "Reigon" on his school's sign larger than the other words, he gave honor to Reigon; he was rewarded by having an extra letter in his title capitalized/) discoeverer of Reigon; when he was teaching Reigon to students, the Enemies of Reigon came upon him, scoffed, and insulted him using the word they made up at the time "tickle". As a punishment, all future Wicked Reigon-Deniers began to use this word to describe their wicked offshoot of Guy-Giving (/There is another explanation for this word. Just as the Wicked Reigon-Deniers are likened to ticks that are a mere annoyance to Reigoneas, so too must their wicked practice contain the word "tick". Alternatively, the tick is the symbol of the demons that attempt to destroy the pillar of Reigon./).