Now 'tis the new Gregorian year. Everything is nearly the same as it was a couple days ago, when it was 2021, but now a number that changes somewhat infrequently has been incremented by one! Also, now 'tis a time where I announce that I'm treating this website as more of a blog than a place to post formal articles and essays.
Anyway, as I've said in this site's about page (as of writing), I've got a sitation where I'm "in love" with someone (their name is *REDACTED*. I'm obviously not gonna say who it is). Talking to this person brings about a special form of pleasure, and when I even so much as gaze upon them, I feel a taste of that pleasure, too. So, I've been wondering: how should I proceed? How should (if at all) I act on this "love?" Should I try to be around this person and talk to them a lot? Should I pay little attention to them and move on with regular life until I'm ready for trying to marry some other woman (I have absolutely no idea right now how to find someone to marry, so it's a good thing I'm not trying to do it yet)?
Firstly, I've been wondering if it's bad (harmful, immoral, or not ideal) to talk to this individual for the purpose of satisfying (temporarily) this feeling. Is it harmful? Yes. I've written in other articles (such as "Autism as an Idol" and "More Positive, I Guess") about how the prohibition of idol-worship teaches against attributing unimportant things with importance. Focusing too much on one particular not very special human goes against this principle. Idolizing men (or, in this case, a woman) is always harmful (I used to be a Christian, and back then, I used to literally idol-worship a dude. Now I gotta cleanse myself of this new idol, this girl, who ain't any sort of "angel," just a human.). Focusing too much on some random girl is a waste of time, energy, and thought. And I think acting based only on desire, and not on wisdom as well, is generally bad.
Is it not ideal? Doing this kind of shit, solely for pleasure, based on desire, is not a sufficient reason to do it.
Immoral? I don't know.
So, based on what I've written, and my thoughts about this as a whole, I've got no sufficient reason to want to interact with this girl based on "love," and reasons against it. Seems like I won't be pursuing this person anymore. One less waste of energy and time on my schedule.
I think I've learned a lot from the interactions I've had with that person, but Imma have to finally put the kibosh on this endeavor. And thank the Master of all (God) for what I've learned from it, and of course the pleasure I've received from it (not quite as important...).